Conversation between me and my friend Ben
Me: Our co-worker sent me an email yesterday asking me why I was sad.
Ben: Yep – he’s trying to move in on you while you’re down – cause men think dick fixes all issues.
Me: You really shouldn’t generalize.
Ben: Toothache…she needs dick. Coma? – that’s right – dick.
Me: Christmas? Dick in a box.
Ben: Sex fixes all our issues, so why not women’s?
My mother is special. So special, in fact that she had a nasty habit of entering me in beauty pageants until age 12, at which time I was old enough to tell her to fuck off.
Our relationship is strained, to say the least.
First of all, you must understand, my mom is 80 years old. Growing up, people often thought she was my grandmother. And while I realize that she may not be around much longer, I also have to see her in small doses, so as to preserve what precarious relationship we do have.
Enter her knee surgery. She has needed a little bit more care from me since she isn’t able to get around very well and last week she called to let me know she needed for me to take her to the grocery store.
Enter anxiety and panic.
This bit of bondage with my morning breakfast bar made me laugh today.
The 50 Shades phenomenon itself makes me chuckle. Why are we so incredibly surprised that women are buying these books?. Aside from the fact that the books are no great literary masterpiece, they are making record sales. Why all the fuss about women buying digital porn?? Also, I am fully aware that “digital porn” is probably it’s own genre that has nothing whatsoever to do with e-books.
“Our customers are very smart and they say it’s badly written, but they are in the middle of book three,” laughed Margot Sage EL, co-owner of the Watchung Booksellers in Montclair, N.J., which carries the trilogy. “None of us at the bookstore have been able to read it. The print on-demand version comes in and goes out right away.”
The fact that the book is badly written and it is still flying off the shelves (not to mention the appearance of the gas station merchandise) tells us something about ourselves and our sexuality. In a society that still frowns upon women being sexual creatures (see:Sandra Fluke), we are shocked when we see women by the millions purchasing what amounts to graphic BDSM porn.